A weird mix of surrealism, bizarre philosophy, politics, personal views and, of course, smoked salmon milkshakes. One reader said: "....you have an excellant writing style! Thanks for the information and a few laughs!" - Dr. Guy
Toblerone's Articles » Page 4
September 11, 2005 by Toblerone
I was inspired to this after watching the 2nd season of Northern Exposure on DVD. There is a funny dream sequence where Dr Joel Fleishman is dreaming he's in the simply irresistible music video. One thing lead to another, my neurons started firing (read: misfiring)and this was the result... Don't you just love how the women look like they just don't want to be there. I guess they are thinking "shit this makeup is heavy, my face is getting tired." For comparison. Toblerone
August 22, 2005 by Toblerone
Sketchy Girl Episode 1: Top Bloke For Sketchy Girl merchandise visit my online shop at: http://www.cafepress.com/sketchy_girl I also have a Keeping it Surreal shop at: http://www.cafepress.com/keepinitsurreal Selling out to "The Man" is fun! Edit: Sketchy Girl (the brunnette) was missing her clavicles (ONE of my favourite body parts on a girl) this has been rectified.
August 22, 2005 by Toblerone
Sketchy Girl Episode 1: Top Bloke For Sketchy Girl merchandise visit my online shop at: http://www.cafepress.com/sketchy_girl I also have a Keeping it Surreal shop at: http://www.cafepress.com/keepinitsurreal Selling out to "The Man" is fun! Edit: Sketchy Girl (the brunnette) was missing her clavicles (ONE of my favourite body parts on a girl) this has been rectified.
July 25, 2005 by Toblerone
Sometimes you get a really dumb idea and you just have to share it. This is a bizarre idea I got for a business one day, I'm pretty sure I was sober. The problem: The way I see it there must be heaps of rich people that are not happy with merely giving money to charity and heaps of unhappy needy people that don't strictly qualify to receive it, or need more than just money or have slipped through the cracks (Homeless people, struggling single mothers, overqualified unemployed academics ...
July 8, 2005 by Toblerone
You are lounging on a tropical island. Daiquiri in hand you eye the beautiful women in their bikinis. One of them is eyeing you back; they walk over to you. You strike up a wonderful conversation and find in addition to being extremely beautiful they are also extremely intelligent holding several degrees in personal hygiene and poolside apparel. Charmed by your charisma and perfectly white teeth they cannot but yield to your carnal desires. "Where have you been all my life?" they enqui...
July 8, 2005 by Toblerone
You are lounging on a tropical island. Daiquiri in hand you eye the beautiful women in their bikinis. One of them is eyeing you back; they walk over to you. You strike up a wonderful conversation and find in addition to being extremely beautiful they are also extremely intelligent holding several degrees in personal hygiene and poolside apparel. Charmed by your charisma and perfectly white teeth they cannot but yield to your carnal desires. "Where have you been all my life?" they enqui...
June 19, 2005 by Toblerone
The quote speaks for itself:
April 29, 2005 by Toblerone
Hello again mindless masses, Toblerone J. Aarkvark here just brimming with pseudo-orgasmic excitement at the chance to impress upon your mushy gelatinous primitive under-evolved cerebrums with yet another insightful adjective (and parentheses) laden article. People often see me for the successful charismatic man that I am and ask how I got that way. The secret of my success is this: delusions of grandeur. Many people have unfairly characterised delusions of grandeur (henceforth know as DOG...
April 29, 2005 by Toblerone
Hello again mindless masses, Toblerone J. Aarkvark here just brimming with pseudo-orgasmic excitement at the chance to impress upon your mushy gelatinous primitive under-evolved cerebrums with yet another insightful adjective (and parentheses) laden article. People often see me for the successful charismatic man that I am and ask how I got that way. The secret of my success is this: delusions of grandeur. Many people have unfairly characterised delusions of grandeur (henceforth know as DOG...
April 14, 2005 by Toblerone
A few articles ago I invented the word remoticon: Remoticon (re-mo-ti-con): 1) A smiley that is entirely inscructible except to the person that uses it (for instance a non-standard smiley that you've never seen before making some face which you've never seen on a person and thus is completely meaningless) 2) A smiley that make no sense/is ambiguous in the context in which it is used. Smileys, as I understand it, started out as a way of saying "just kidding" so it would stop huge flam...
April 12, 2005 by Toblerone
Somewhere a marketing guy high up in an office building in a city somewhere is giving this lecture to his budding protégé. Marketing guy: The thing you have to understand son is that it’s all about the knowing your demographic, it’s ALL about knowing your demographic. Young Naive Intern: What do you mean, I thought it was all about selling stuff. (Slaps him on back condescendingly) MG: Ha ha ha, so young and so naive. Listen to me: (said extremely quickly) You’ve g...
April 12, 2005 by Toblerone
Somewhere a marketing guy high up in an office building in a city somewhere is giving this lecture to his budding protégé. Marketing guy: The thing you have to understand son is that it’s all about the knowing your demographic, it’s ALL about knowing your demographic. Young Naive Intern: What do you mean, I thought it was all about selling stuff. (Slaps him on back condescendingly) MG: Ha ha ha, so young and so naive. Listen to me: (said extremely quickly) You’ve g...
April 7, 2005 by Toblerone
Here is a cartoon I once drew in a birthday card for a girl I liked ages ago (champas socialist will know who since at the time I wouldn't shutup about her). Looking at it now it is a real wonder she never went out with me.....it probably had something to do with the poem on the inside of the card...a story for another time. The character sketchy girl is LOOSELY based on the aforementioned girl who was quite the raver (BTW sketchy is slang for how you feel after a "big night out" if you get m...
April 7, 2005 by Toblerone
Here is a cartoon I once drew in a birthday card for a girl I liked ages ago (champas socialist will know who since at the time I wouldn't shutup about her). Looking at it now it is a real wonder she never went out with me.....it probably had something to do with the poem on the inside of the card...a story for another time. The character sketchy girl is LOOSELY based on the aforementioned girl who was quite the raver (BTW sketchy is slang for how you feel after a "big night out" if you get m...
March 4, 2005 by Toblerone
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