Kenny's Karmic Realignment Service

Bizarre Concept Business Idea

Published on July 25, 2005 By Toblerone In Misc

Sometimes you get a really dumb idea and you just have to share it. This is a bizarre idea I got for a business one day, I'm pretty sure I was sober.

The problem:

The way I see it there must be heaps of rich people that are not happy with merely giving money to charity and heaps of unhappy needy people that don't strictly qualify to receive it, or need more than just money or have slipped through the cracks (Homeless people, struggling single mothers, overqualified unemployed academics etc.).

The goal:
Get the charity cases the help they need.

Involve the rich people with charity more directly.

The demographic:

Guilt ridden rich people that don't like the deattached passive sort of charities that merely involve writing a cheque.

The solution:

You create a database of people with problems and charge rich people a fee to be introduced to people with problems they may be equipped (perhaps especially equipped) to solve. Sort of like dating service for philanthropists and charity cases but wihout the lofty promise of true love.

Marketing strategy:

The way I see it the concept is so bizarre and seemingly unworkable that you would automatically get national/international publicity for it. You could run an ad campaign saying what a cop out just writing a cheque is when you can do so much more, but I suppose that might be considered a bit unethical...

Intended outcome:

The needy people get their problems fixed free of charge, the rich people get to be more hands on and can brag to their rich mates about how civic minded they are and I get filthy stinking rich and yet remain karmically neutral, everybody wins!

So who wants to invest?

Toblerone J. Aardvark

Comments

Danny Bassette

on Jul 25, 2005

Well it's an amusing idea at least.

Toblerone

on Jul 25, 2005

Yeah, I thought so, if only I could attribute it to years of chemical abuse...

bakerstreet

on Jul 25, 2005

True to a point. Most of the wealthy people I have known, though, preferred to let other people get their hands dirty. One man I knew as a security guard supported a homeless shelter religiously, acted as a benefactor to it, but refused, outright, to give them money or help face-to-face.

The reason I know this is because we were told as guards to be stern and completely uncharitable to the homeless. It seemed harsh to me, but then I saw what happened to guards who did slip and buddy up to them. They weren't treated with more respect. On their shifts the homeless people would come in to get somethign from them, and then take a crap in the stairwells as they left.

Eventually, people who were openly "sympathetic" were let go. I found it in a short time to be impossible to both help them, and be friends with them. This isn't true for all the poor, I know that.

Charity sets up an odd dynamic, though. To those who really don't want charity, they tend to resent it. They appreciate it, but it doesn't make them feel better about themselves. Abstractly, that makes them not feel so great about the person they have to face who has helped them. People who would rather HAVE charity see their benefactors as a meal ticket, and tend to objectify them.

For that reason, I think charity almost has to be institutional, with a layer of obfuscation between the giver and those that benefit.

Toblerone

on Jul 25, 2005

Thanks for that insightful comment Baker. I had a feeling there had to be a catch...aside from it sounding wacky and drugged induced...

dynamaso

on Aug 04, 2005

I like the idea. I have harboured a fantasy for a number of years, one in which a rich, attractive benefactor offers me as much financial assistance as I need for as long as I want. All she asks for in return is regular sexual favours. Yeah, sure, it is every man's fantasy, but I said it here first!

Toblerone

on Aug 04, 2005

If I was going to be mean I'd say "Yeah, but what would she get out of it?" unfortunately I like you, so I can't say that

Texas Wahine

on Aug 04, 2005

You're brilliant Toblerone.

I offer to help someone with...umm..hmm...I've got to have some sort of talent or skill...hmmm...I can color really well...so you find an underprivileged child who has a lot of overdue coloring homework, and I'll help him or her out.

I'd like to be on the receiving end as well. How about hooking me up with someone who likes to put away laundry?

It's karmalicious!

dynamaso

on Aug 05, 2005

If I was going to be mean I'd say "Yeah, but what would she get out of it?" unfortunately I like you, so I can't say that

Let me answer the question (I didn't take any offence BTW): I would say she would get stimulating conversation, someone who can lift heavy things and get stuff down from high places. Oh yeah, and eternal sexual gratification...

Have a great weekend, mate.

Cheers,

Maso

Toblerone

on Aug 05, 2005

You're brilliant Toblerone.

Thanks TW, I hold you responsible for any over-crowding caused by my over-inflated ego taking up too much space.

I offer to help someone with...umm..hmm...I've got to have some sort of talent or skill...hmmm...I can color really well...so you find an underprivileged child who has a lot of overdue coloring homework, and I'll help him or her out.

Don't be modest I'm sure you have many special skills, and not just ones your husband would mind you sharing

I'd like to be on the receiving end as well. How about hooking me up with someone who likes to put away laundry?

Mate if you'd pay for the trip out to Hawaii I'd be there in a pinch.

Champas Socialist

on Aug 06, 2005

I'm not sure how widespread your demographic is, but I think if you accept the middle class too, it could be good. Of course, what you are really suggesting is that the rich should become charity workers, which is an option already. If they don't like the faceless nature of charities, I don't think Oxfam has a limit on how many people help them ;>

Toblerone

on Aug 07, 2005

If they don't like the faceless nature of charities, I don't think Oxfam has a limit on how many people help them ;>

Yeah true but they still can't have total control over how they help people and there is no personal connection. I guess I could except the middle class too.

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