Hello. Come in, take a seat. No not there, that's where I keep my pile of invisible pine cones. Invisible pine cones? Don't ask stupid questions. Today I would like to talk about the universe. Specifically I would like to explain it to those of you that haven't been paying attention in their " Physics, Metaphysics and Far Side Cartoons: A Guide to Understanding Everything " class, which is now compulsory for any student wishing to become chronically unemployed. Today you may have woke...

Hello. Come in, take a seat. No not there, that's where I keep my pile of invisible pine cones. Invisible pine cones? Don't ask stupid questions. Today I would like to talk about the universe. Specifically I would like to explain it to those of you that haven't been paying attention in their " Physics, Metaphysics and Far Side Cartoons: A Guide to Understanding Everything " class, which is now compulsory for any student wishing to become chronically unemployed. Today you may have woke...

Welcome to part 2 of this thrilling series of articles. Here's what the critics have been saying over the last week: " Lemony Snicket's: A series of unfortunate events had me chuckling away with all the glee of a nun on a seatless bicycle." - Time Magazine "The soup was bland, the main course was poorly conceived and as for how it was executed: it should have been. The service, if you could call it that, was simply atrocious. I'm not entirely sure what language they were speaking but...

Welcome to part 2 of this thrilling series of articles. Here's what the critics have been saying over the last week: " Lemony Snicket's: A series of unfortunate events had me chuckling away with all the glee of a nun on a seatless bicycle." - Time Magazine "The soup was bland, the main course was poorly conceived and as for how it was executed: it should have been. The service, if you could call it that, was simply atrocious. I'm not entirely sure what language they were speaking but...

I like lesbians. A lot of guys like lesbians but with the misguided notion that they will have a threesome with them, that is of course actually the domain of bisexuals but even then only the really cool ones (that's a whole other article). The lesbian scenario doesn't really work because you're like "Cool, you're lesbians, can we have threesome?" and they're like "No. You're a man and we're lesbians. Having sex with you would completely defeat the purpose of our divinely inspired lesbianhood...

I like lesbians. A lot of guys like lesbians but with the misguided notion that they will have a threesome with them, that is of course actually the domain of bisexuals but even then only the really cool ones (that's a whole other article). The lesbian scenario doesn't really work because you're like "Cool, you're lesbians, can we have threesome?" and they're like "No. You're a man and we're lesbians. Having sex with you would completely defeat the purpose of our divinely inspired lesbianhood...

I'd like to say a big hello to the unwashed masses that have once again tuned in for this week's installment of Understanding the Universe. Undoubtedly you have been on the edge of your seat waiting. Today we try to understand people in yet an other effort to understand the mystery of the nouns (which is in fact composed of multiple mysteries but is alway referred to as a singular mystery as per the post-post modernist handbook). The best way to try to understand people is to put yourself ...

I'd like to say a big hello to the unwashed masses that have once again tuned in for this week's installment of Understanding the Universe. Undoubtedly you have been on the edge of your seat waiting. Today we try to understand people in yet an other effort to understand the mystery of the nouns (which is in fact composed of multiple mysteries but is alway referred to as a singular mystery as per the post-post modernist handbook). The best way to try to understand people is to put yourself ...

In an effort to further the understanding of general public, or mindless peasants, as I prefer to call them, I am continuing this series of enlightening articles. I do this in spite of the fact I truly believe no one is currently smart enough to understand them. I am however an eternal optimist and I think perhaps one of you carbon-based cretins might make a gigantic a evolutionary leap forward in the meantime, so I’ll continue just in case. In an effort to increase your grasp of previousl...

In an effort to further the understanding of general public, or mindless peasants, as I prefer to call them, I am continuing this series of enlightening articles. I do this in spite of the fact I truly believe no one is currently smart enough to understand them. I am however an eternal optimist and I think perhaps one of you carbon-based cretins might make a gigantic a evolutionary leap forward in the meantime, so I’ll continue just in case. In an effort to increase your grasp of previousl...

Sketchy Girl Episode 1: Top Bloke For Sketchy Girl merchandise visit my online shop at: http://www.cafepress.com/sketchy_girl I also have a Keeping it Surreal shop at: http://www.cafepress.com/keepinitsurreal Selling out to "The Man" is fun! Edit: Sketchy Girl (the brunnette) was missing her clavicles (ONE of my favourite body parts on a girl) this has been rectified.

Sketchy Girl Episode 1: Top Bloke For Sketchy Girl merchandise visit my online shop at: http://www.cafepress.com/sketchy_girl I also have a Keeping it Surreal shop at: http://www.cafepress.com/keepinitsurreal Selling out to "The Man" is fun! Edit: Sketchy Girl (the brunnette) was missing her clavicles (ONE of my favourite body parts on a girl) this has been rectified.

You are lounging on a tropical island. Daiquiri in hand you eye the beautiful women in their bikinis. One of them is eyeing you back; they walk over to you. You strike up a wonderful conversation and find in addition to being extremely beautiful they are also extremely intelligent holding several degrees in personal hygiene and poolside apparel. Charmed by your charisma and perfectly white teeth they cannot but yield to your carnal desires. "Where have you been all my life?" they enqui...