In George Orwell’s 1984 the Party forces everyone to speak the language “newspeak”. Basically it was a revised form of the English language with fewer words. It also had new words that reflected the policies of the Party such as the word badthink that referred to any ideas that disagreed the Party’s policies. The idea behind “newspeak” was that with fewer words to work with the proles (common people) would have less freedom of thought. In this article I propose a project to be taken part of...

A long time ago in a share house not so far away my sister lived with a rather eccentric man (who is actually a good friend of my family). He had a penchant for playing practical jokes, telling dirty jokes in inappropriate company, a beret/hat fetish and he used to dry his underpants in the microwave. He was and still is a music teacher and quite a smart guy, just a bit strange (now that’s the pot calling the kettle African American). Anyway one day I noticed he’d written the following phras...

A long time ago in a share house not so far away my sister lived with a rather eccentric man (who is actually a good friend of my family). He had a penchant for playing practical jokes, telling dirty jokes in inappropriate company, a beret/hat fetish and he used to dry his underpants in the microwave. He was and still is a music teacher and quite a smart guy, just a bit strange (now that’s the pot calling the kettle African American). Anyway one day I noticed he’d written the following phras...

Today we will do a thought experiment, a silly one but bear with me. Try this at home kids, no need to be a trained professional. Okay, just imagine that everything as is just as it is now but without money. It is as if this hypothetical world is a movie on DVD and we’ve press pause and erased the concept of money from the heads of all the actors in this movie. After we press the play button things will start to go to hell in a hand basket but we’ll just focus on how it is for now, a pristine...

'tis a work of art.... my sincerest apologies to Salvador Dali. Just to make this post a little less pointless here a link for a spoof of the Star Wars: Episode 3 trailer. Even if you don't like Stars Wars you'll probably find this funny. Link

It is has been a while since I have added to this series of articles. For this I apologise, I am aware that your entire life consists of you constantly reloading this blog in the hope that I have written a new entry to this series. This may be hard to believe but it is actually quite hard to write articles about understanding the universe. Not because it is exceptionally complicated you understand. On the contrary I was only 4 years old when I finger painted the grand equation: [(0 = 1 = i...

It is has been a while since I have added to this series of articles. For this I apologise, I am aware that your entire life consists of you constantly reloading this blog in the hope that I have written a new entry to this series. This may be hard to believe but it is actually quite hard to write articles about understanding the universe. Not because it is exceptionally complicated you understand. On the contrary I was only 4 years old when I finger painted the grand equation: [(0 = 1 = i...

Does anyone not see the connection between the two statements (gross generalisations) in the headline? For those that don’t see the connection let me explain it to you. Before I do would like to state that in this article I am not referring to all women, just those who say stuff like “all men are arseholes”. I am not referring to all men either, just to those who say stuff like “nice guys finish last”. Arseholes are the guys these women I am referring to really notice . They get results ...

Okay, well the scope of this topic is HUGE I mean absolutely gigantic. I spent a day thinking about it and I blew out all my brain cells. After I replaced them I had a massive panic attack and curled up in foetal position for a few hours. Then I calmed down and realised that it’s just a blog and I shouldn’t have so much performance anxiety over it. Give me time for my arguments to come together, to save you from reading book length articles I will often have to state something in one article ...

Okay this is a series of articles I have been considering doing for a while now. Part of what I want to do with Keeping it Surreal , aside from write bizarre essays and point out how strange the universe is, is to point out how different life could be if we broke away from our unquestioned beliefs the staple diet of ‘normality’. For instance why do we alway use boring compliments like “You look gorgeous today ” why not say, “You’re looking quite bipedal today.” I’ve used it, it gets a laugh ...

I like lesbians. A lot of guys like lesbians but with the misguided notion that they will have a threesome with them, that is of course actually the domain of bisexuals but even then only the really cool ones (that's a whole other article). The lesbian scenario doesn't really work because you're like "Cool, you're lesbians, can we have threesome?" and they're like "No. You're a man and we're lesbians. Having sex with you would completely defeat the purpose of our divinely inspired lesbianhood...

I like lesbians. A lot of guys like lesbians but with the misguided notion that they will have a threesome with them, that is of course actually the domain of bisexuals but even then only the really cool ones (that's a whole other article). The lesbian scenario doesn't really work because you're like "Cool, you're lesbians, can we have threesome?" and they're like "No. You're a man and we're lesbians. Having sex with you would completely defeat the purpose of our divinely inspired lesbianhood...