The Multiverse, Logic and Nonsense
It is has been a while since I have added to this series of articles. For this I apologise, I am aware that your entire life consists of you constantly reloading this blog in the hope that I have written a new entry to this series.
This may be hard to believe but it is actually quite hard to write articles about understanding the universe. Not because it is exceptionally complicated you understand. On the contrary I was only 4 years old when I finger painted the grand equation: [(0 = 1 = infinity + - infinity = 0)... loop time = infinity)] which succinctly explains the existence of everything (this is explained in longhand below). The reason these articles are so difficult to write is there is actually very little to the universe. The multiverse on the other hand is quite complicated so let's talk about that. I will include a short recap and embellish what was said in Part 3 again with the assistance of the Spouting Total and Utter Crap (STUC) technique.
The multiverse includes the sum total of all the universes (and the brown smelly crud that lies on their boundaries, which is universe shit, don't ask). There is a universe for every possible combination of physical laws and alternative histories. Paradoxically Nothingness is responsible for the existence and extreme diversity of the multiverse. As explained in Part 3 Nothingness cannot exist without having a total mental breakdown due to it realising that its existence is totally impossible. Nothingness comes to this conclusion using the logic "well even nothing is something and if there is one thing then why not another thing and another thing and another thing [and so on ad infinitum]?". So Nothingness makes every possible object and situation pop into existence until everything exists. When everything exists the opposite of everything also exists and so the sum total of stuff in the multiverse is zero because it all cancels out. In this way Nothingness effectively exists and doesn't exist at the same time. Nothingness is present by virtue of its complete absence. Nothingness gets a bit testy about this confusing situation and immaturely lashes out by doing such nonsense as making Wandering Albatrosses randomly materialise in my backyard. It's only logical that having such a nonsensical existence can make you do some pretty wacky nonsensical things.
The children of Nothingness, Logic and Nonsense, have been battling it out for eons. Contrary to popular scientific belief Logic is not the only path to understanding the universe (as proven by STUC). It is just that Logic and Nonsense no longer speak to each other and try to keep to different parts of the multiverse. Sometime ago Logic and Nonsense got extremely drunk at their nephew Mildly Ecstatic's Bar Mitzvah and had a particularly gruesome fight (Logic had called Pi an irrational number and Nonsense got pissed off because he'd been dating her for the last 3 weeks).
After that they decided to go their separate ways and decided to define set functions for themselves to keep out of each other's hair. Logic decided to control the laws within the individual universes and nonsense wanted to control the creation of new universes and the laws of the multiverse as whole. Since then they have mostly stuck to their own jurisdictions but occasionally they like to play practical jokes on each other. Admittedly logic doesn't have much of a sense of humour. Its idea of a joke is to create a universe where all the stars are in clusters of prime numbers. Logic thinks this is absolute hilarious and often brags of its supposedly comical exploits down the pub with its friends Pedantic and Boring. Nonsense's idea of a joke is to change the laws of the universe so that women take two minutes longer on average than men to have an orgasm. It also invented the phrase "If you don't know what you did wrong then I'm not telling you!". Okay, so nonsense has cruel sense of humour, but a sense of humour all the same.
Next episode I will talk yet again about something completely random: randomness. Until next time, may your strangeness burn with brightness of a thousand suns.
~Toblerone J. Aardvark~