All men are arseholes...and nice guys finish last

the reason for the cliches

Published on February 6, 2005 By Toblerone In Dating

Does anyone not see the connection between the two statements (gross generalisations) in the headline? For those that don’t see the connection let me explain it to you. Before I do would like to state that in this article I am not referring to all women, just those who say stuff like “all men are arseholes”. I am not referring to all men either, just to those who say stuff like “nice guys finish last”.

Arseholes are the guys these women I am referring to really notice. They get results because they aren’t being a puss in terms of getting out there and getting noticed or least actually making a move. That, as far I can see, is all they have over the “nice guys” (not that all nice guys don’t take initiative, but I’m keeping it simple for now). Since these women never give the “nice guys” the time of day they naturally assume all guys are arseholes. Due to this practice of ignoring the nice guys they are probably creating more arseholes because the nice guys want to cash in on the arsehole racket.
As a general rule these women make absolutely no effort to show interest in the more timid “nice guy” and yet they wonder why they find the “nice guys” never make a move.

Nice guys do get girlfriends all the time. It may take them longer but I assure all you “nice guys” that it does happen. Your phrase ‘Women only go for arseholes, cry about it to me later and say “why can’t I find a man like you, well not exactly like you but you in an arsehole’s body”’ is equally due to your own skewed perception. Your problem is you keep on chasing all the girls who are un/intentionally after bad-arse-biker boys (or similar) and trying to be their knight in shining armour. Stop it! If little miss damsel in distress can’t see her self-destructive pattern IT’S HER OWN FUCKING PROBLEM! They grow out of it eventually.....or end up being old and alone and being eaten by their cats, same difference. Either way you can comfort yourself with the fact that you are wasting your time on them. For crap’s sake stop being a doormat too, it is making you look desperate and pathetic, you are scaring them. Remember there is a difference between being considerate and respectful and being obsequious and ultra-keen (or worse dull). If you like there are a lot of dominatrixs out there looking for submissives, perhaps that is your calling.

I bring this up because a couple of nights ago I had a couple of nice, very intelligent and beautiful women over for dinner that were complaining about the “all men are arseholes” situation. I couldn’t sympathise because they seemed quite aware that nice guys are out there but they are too timid to make a move. Well here’s a tip, it’s a new fucking millennium girls, YOU CAN MAKE THE FIRST MOVE! Now don’t get me wrong as a man (not necessarily a nice guy or an arsehole, I’d rather you made that assessment yourself) I don’t mind making the first move, I do make the first move, but it seems like the ball is always in the man’s court. Why can’t you rally a little instead us acing you all the time? Being a little pro-active doesn’t make you a slut. If you are exceptionally beautiful and intelligent the “nice guys” probably assume you already have an arsehole boyfriend, so give it go.

To the “nice guys”: ask them out, they like it, it shows initiative and more importantly interest. If they reject you ask out someone else, continue until you succeed. Take advantage of alcohol, that’s what it’s there for.

Incidentally I have been putting the term “nice guys” in quotation marks for a reason. This is because women seem to think that “nice guys” are asexual creatures that only desire to listen to all their problems with a sympathetic ear and generally give off the “I want to be just good friends vibe”. Guess what, they want to get in your pants too! It’s just that they want to get into your pants in a considerate and respectful way. If you believe he is being too considerate and respectful please tell him. That being romantic shit takes effort you know.

I don’t put the term arseholes in quotation marks because they are arseholes. You can’t change them, not easily anyway, so stop trying. If they act like arseholes, leave them, give them some incentive to change...instead of giving ‘nice guys’ incentive to change into arseholes.
I’m glad I cleared that up for you. Go forth and live accordingly...and give me a call

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“He frolicked through the meadow (in a masculine way) and yodelled triumphantly at the top of his lungs, and behold the villagers did rejoice.” – Toblerone J. Aardvark

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